One Inch Closer to babysteph

suffering a hangover...

i'm feeling depressed to start work leh... how...... tink i'm suffering a "hangover" from my trip. enjoyed the trip tooooooo much le. reli wanna stay there some more, don come back here beta... come back means gotta face all the problems in life again... stress fr work, stress fr financial planning, stress fr the problems in my life...

certain pressing issues waiting for me to solve now, and i hope i can get them solved b4 sch starts... donwanna affect my work. work is stressful enuf for me le, don wanna add more stress...
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如果它仅仅是个梦
但愿在我长眠的时候
能够继续做这个梦。。。

i'm coming back soon

i'm right now at kunming airport waiting for international flight back home... super tired...aft 14 days of travelling. so tired i dunno how to describe... dis my longest holiday so far. damn, tink i'm having sore eyes now... long wait man... hate flight transfers, itz owiz nothing but boring waits...

i love dis trip. itz the best trip i ever had so far. the pple in my tour group are definitely not the best pple i've met so far. i have met far more beta tour mates. it is the things i see and learn during this trip dat makes it different fr all other trips i've taken. 这趟旅游是真正适合我的！

我不喜欢江南的浪漫与过于商业化、不喜欢东北人的粗鲁、不喜欢北京人的势利眼。这次旅游，我感受到了我最喜欢的中国5000年的历史，我感受到了我最喜欢的西北的豪迈、我感受到了北方的大草原！读万卷书也不如亲眼一睹。我看到了一望无际的大草原，车子每行一分钟即可见到遍地的牛羊。我终于明白了《敕勒歌》中的“风吹草低见牛羊”。真的好想永远留在西北。我非常肯定我会再次回到那里。背包旅行吧，或许。又或者到那里工作。总之，那绝对是我向往居住的地方。

ok...i gotta go check-in now, reach singapore about 3am, fri got staff meeting liaoz.... xi bei sianz...... come back equals to start work. =( more stuffs to be updated aft i'm back.

2nd day in china

hi all, i'm now into the 2nd day in china.. strictly speaking itz the 3rd day, but the 1st day was all spent all at the airport waiting for the domestic flight and on the domestic flight, so only started touring yesterday.

yesterday was damn boring lor... haven't adapted, and so bloody tired from the flights & not enuf sleep. and this tour group most of them are old pple... no young ones like me... nvr been to a group w/o young pple leh...kinda boring lah... i guess young pple wouldn't want to go on this trip ba... silk road... some of my neighbours nvr even heard about it b4... today seems beta, with slightly more sleep lasnite, hence more energy, more things to see and start chatting with the tour mates.

just uploaded 2 of my photos. only 2, cos the internet here is so bloody slow! the weather is scorching hot man! 5+am itz alr bright like 10am in singapore. and in the afternoon the temperature goes up to over 40 degrees celsius. and the sun sets only after 10.30pm... long long day...

don reli like the food here, cos everyday eat mutton...every meal there's mutton... i don even eat mutton in singapore... tink aft go back to singapore, i won't dare to touch mutton for 1 year at least. yes, i hate mutton, but the mutton here is beta than those in singapore, the mutton smell is very minimal.

damn...i wanna write on the scenic spots i've been to...but i dunno how to change to chinese character input on this computer... nvr mind, itz dinner time... i shall continue when i've time...

waiting...

itz been nothing but a mad rush ever since i returned fr the woodbadge camp. busy washing clothes, din even have time to catch back all the sleep i lost at camp, den it was 2 whole days of wrk in school... remedial+admin work, yea, 10 hrs of work each day. today was worse, spent a hell of time packing my luggage for my 14 day trip. den rushed to sch to do the level file for checking...then rushed to wheelock to collect the hp i sent in for svcing 6mths back. phew! finally, i'm waiting now... waiting for 10.30pm to come & i shall make my way to the airport.

it was a bad decision to go for such a long trip dis time... no time to rest b4 the long tough trip, no time to do my own stuffs... no time to SLEEP!!!!! i reli miss my sleep leh... yes, sleeping is so impt to me. the woodbadge camp alr told me, without enuf slep, i can't concentrate, can't learn things, can't do things properly. but this trip, itz ok la, dis trip is somewhere which i have always wanted to go... silk road. tinking of all the historical stuffs i'll get to c there, the history i'll get to hear fr the tour guide.. all dis is enuf to make me feel excited. just hope i can sleep on the plane later... i always hate night flights!

but then, itz gonna b a tough trip.. the food, the climate, the environment, the super long coach rides... i became darker aft the woodbadge camp, tink aft this trip itz gonna be worse! gonna splash lots of sunblock on myself... hope i can come back in one piece, a healthy piece. of coz not only me, mummy as well.

can't help but tink about term 3 in school... right aft i return fr my trip, it'll b a mad rush again... in school. stressed siazzzz..... the stupid checking of bks, i din manage to submit all tat was required...heck lah, i simply couldn't finish, if they're gg to gauge my performance just based on tat, so be it... all teacher frens out there, enjoy yourselves dis short holidays, b4 we realised, the end of the year will be near again.

my P6s, if u r reading my blog, pls pls pls pls pls remember to study & revise dis holidays, there is no time to waste... mid july is the start of ur pre-lims alr. all the best!

and pray i'll have a safe trip! i'll miss u ppl...

stressed & tired...even during holidays...

stressed out...and tired...even during the holidays... tired from my 5 day scout camp. immediately aft the camp, on the way back from camp to HQ, i start feeling stressed tinking about work... gg on my holidays on wed nite, but ain't looking fwd to it at all...

can't get into the right holiday mood...fr all the sch work i have to complete b4 my trip... the damn checking of bks lah! and i'm just so tired aft the camp, diz 2 days still havin supplementary classes in sch, i wonder if i've the time to recuperate b4 my sheong 14 days trip... hopefully i can squeeze time out to pack my luggage. damn it la, dis is such a terrible june holidays, everything so packed!

went back to school today, had lessons with my P4 & P6. i'm so happy to c my P6s!!! they reli liven up my mood and made me reaslise how much i miss them! the boys make my blood boil very often, but i stil enjoy seeing them, simply love tat class!=) my 1st batch of P6s, thinking about them leaving me in another 5 mths does make me feel sad.

don reli like my P4s actually, they r a super noisy & hyper bunch, childish, don respect teachers, say the wrong things to teachers, blah blah blah... just not as sweet as my P6s.

and i miss this sweet little godson of mine who's in m'sia.. can only get to c him when sch reopens. tot he'd forgotten me his godmum, but he din. felt so elated when i saw his friendster message. godson, as much as u miss me, i miss u too!=)

i'm not able to join my boys for their scouts archery camp. 有点遗憾, i love to b with them for their camps, seeing them enjoying themselves, i enjoy myself too. hoping nothing wud go wrong with the boys, then eunice won't have a hard time getting things done.

stayed in sch and wrked for 10 hrs today. tmr shud b the same la, the marking and tidying up for the checking of bks. super sianz... 很矛盾, i complain alot about wrk, but yet, aft accomplishing my tasks, i feel a sense of satisfaction. dunno hw to explain it.

gotta carry on with my marking tonite...zzZZZZ

Happy today!

reason no.1 for being happy today: i finally came hme before sunset today!=) reached hme ard 6+pm... wow, i have forgotten when was the last time on a working day i came hme before dark. ya, life sucks, when u stay almost 13 hrs everyday at work. and i finally did my pedicure today! got my nice nails back.

thanx to MOE huh... for assigning me the course today, datz y i was forced to leave school at 2.30pm, go for the course, den was i able to reach hme before dark. but the course sucks la, dunno wat the trainer was toking about, and i simply not interested. ineffective speaker he is, mumbling to himself when the whole LT was chatting away noisily.

reason no.2 for being happy today: my music classes today were more disciplined. i guess it was bcos i had more rest last nite. so i've got the energy required to discipline my classes? it can be a torture teaching the tail-end classes music lo... cos itz not an examinable subject, and our pupils come fr backgrds which... er... make them not very musically-inclined. and i guess, main reason being i'm not a fierce teacher lor... 竟然有学生告诉我：“teacher u r very kind.”

hahha... was tat a compliment or insult??? ya, i'm proud tat the students like me so much, but i'm ashamed tat i do not do very well in my classroom management.

reason no.3 for being happy today: tmr's a public holiday!!! looking fwd to a good rest! haiz...but saturday gotta go back sch clear work again la...and my lesson observation coming in week 4 le... stressed siaz... week 5 onwards woodbadge course gonna start, kinda looking fwd to it, but sianz too, cos itz at nite, 7-10pm..zzZZ.....

dis has been a good week. i did try to force myself to leav sch early, about 7.30pm, itz an achievement alr, cos for the past almost 1 term, i leave at almost 8pm everyday. 仍然祈祷能够无惊无险地度过这个学期！

wanna add to my previous post... some things tat happened before the march holidays made me rather unhappy with work... i sincerely hope the unhappiness is not permanent.

there was house practice for sports carnival every week, and every teacher belonged to one house. my house practice was always very messy, i dunno y... but well, i'm neither the house mistress nor the house master, and i simply hate sports stuffs, so... i just do my job lor... at one of the house practices, 2 very senior teachers took chairs, sat in front of the hall & chit chat throughout the 2 hrs. wat they did, made me felt super 不平衡！i tot senior teachers shud set good examples???? if new teachers like us were to do the same, we wud be arrowed & marked down, maybe even scolded or "counselled"... but NOBODY said a thing about those 2 teachers sitting on chairs chit chatting, throughout the whole house practice. i cannot tolerate that.

another thing was... not having enuf support fr school, for scout activities... alot of red tapes, dis cannot, dat cannot... the sch wanna start dis new CCA, but slashed our budget by half... then 怕这个怕那个. HQ gives us last minute things, we explain to principal itz HQ tat gave last minute notice. but so wat, explanation is no use. we r still blamed for doing last minute work (as if itz our fault). gotta take the blame & carry on complete the tasks. KNN....

lots of such incidents, they just keep coming... hopefully term 2 will be a beta term... but i'm sceptical about it....

dunno wat title to give to dis post..so left it empty. anyway, itz not a happy post la.

was saying in my previous post tat i'm enjoying being a scouts tcr-in-charge. but i totally don enjoy being the music coordinator! actually, i'm tinking of stepping down... not now, definitely. end of yr ba. very sianz.......................

i find it a hassle to chair meetings, to schedule meetings by emailing/sms-ing/calling my committee members of which some wud go MIA, nvr reply my sms nor answer my calls. i guess music is just not my cup of tea, even tho i'm equipped with the qualifications.

teaching chinese needs more preparation, there is also more marking to be done. but i actually enjoy teaching chinese more than music, altho music needs zero marking. i guess i just have the passion for chinese language & culture. teaching music is very different fr playing music or appreciating music loh. and it is rather difficult disciplining some pupils in my music classes, cos i only c them once a week, for 30 mins. i don even know their names.

(SHIT, my sunburnt skin is starting to itch... 真不好受！)

there's a big event tat needs to be planned, and i need to work wif someone more superior. many a time, i go to dis person hoping dis person will give advice to my problems. but in fact, my problems increase or magnify, aft seeing dis person... and my music committee is SSSSOOOOOOOOOO small. worse still, itz a non-core committee, so everyone bo-chap. itz almost impossible to get all members together for a meeting, cos diff time tables, diff sessions. gd loh, i'm not superwoman, certain things can't be done by one person alone. so, i shall not push myself tat hard in dis dept. cannot be done by one person alone, den i don do loh!

doing the budget, work review, dept work plan is the worst! haiz....still gotta bear wif these tasks for another 9 mths... hope i'l be able to step down ah............ then i wont be so overloaded... i wanna spend more time on my chinese lessons, and on scouts.
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sometimes i get very unhappy just tinking about the things i need to do for the music dept... is the task too diffcult for me? or izit just so that i simply do not have the interest in it... datz y i keep delaying them, and not doing my best for them... i don't know. i only know, right now, i'm very unhappy about doing the 3 yr dept work plan... i find it very nonsensical, and don c the rationale behind it. maybe bcos i'm still very raw at it.

so i conclude i'm not cut out to be someone in the middle management, cos i simply hate chairing meetings and doing admin stuffs such as dept work plans, and planning dept events. HATE! HATE! HATE! i just wanna be a happy teacher, enjoying teaching my pupils & loving them! in fact, tat shud b the core responsibility of teachers, not admin wrk & stuffs. wat MOE is doing now, 其实是本末倒置.

beta stop my complaining... i shall think of the happy things tat happened at camp, and times spent with my frens. leave the worries, the stress to tmr. zzZZZZ.....

my scout boys & the sixer training camp

i'm kinda overloaded dis yr, with the tasks of a P6 teacher, music coordinator & scouts tcr-in-charge. moreover, scouts is a new CCA in my sch. lots of admin wrk & activities. eunice & i r both beginning tcrs, lots of things to learn & explore together.

i'm actually enjoying being tcr-in-charge of scouts more than being a music coordinator... y... i will update ltr in a separate post.

spent thur to sat at scouts sixer camp. it was fun! reli made me miss my good old days in NCC!!!! i can still start a fire using solid fuel eh! heh heh... was looking for my insect repellant, and i realised i still had my stove, my solid fuel & sulphur powder in my cupboard! surprised! i'm gld i din throw dose stuffs away, they r memories of the good old days... but i doubt they can be used, bot them donkey yrs bak.

the camp was tough lo, had to hike with my boys at p.ubin, the sun dat day was super strong. eunice & i ended up sunburnt! very painful... fri nite the pain was so unbearable i sat on bed & cried... nvr been in the sun for so long le, reli useless now =( now my arms look roasted.. will look damn ugly when the skin starts peeling..argghhhh....hate the ugliness... my arms, thighs, neck, nose & forehead will start peeling soon..

tough, but we had fun! wud rather spend my time in camps, tho physically tough, but infinity times beta dan having to do admin work & marking... and the nonsensical 3 yr dept work plan...

we din camp overnite with our boys. it wud b fun lah, but...we r still not prepared yet. left uniformed grp for so many yrs le, so used to having my own bed, my hair dryer, my own bathrm. need time to be prepared for sleping in the wild & go w/o baths. we definitely gotta be prepared, cos our scout leaders woodbadge camp is coming soon... 5D4N camp... kaoz... longer than a holiday to nearby countries eh... will definitely miss my bed, my cats, and mummy! =(

love my scout boys... they r very blur, very raw, as compared to the boys fr other schools...but still love them! they very pitiful during the camp wor... all so tired, sunburnt, 1 sprained ankle, & they had to carry their barangs which r more than 10kg.. some of them r so skinny.. and i c all the mosquito bites on them... i think for all of them, itz the 1st time in their life they r away fr their families for 3 days, and not eating well.

just hope this sixer training camp will make them tougher, stronger, and less blur! glad the parents r cooperative so far (fingers crossed). and hopefully the boys stay healthy aft the camp. pray hard no one falls sick or wateva, else parents will start blaming us.... stress lo, hv to answer to parents & answer to school.

this is our first batch of boys, just like our babies, itz gonna be a long road seeing them grow in scouts. reli hope our unit will grow in quantity & quality, and eunice & i continue to enjoy the satisfaction we get from putting effort in dis unit.

end of my holidays

the march one week holidays r coming to an end, and for me, it was no holiday at all... my CCA is taking up a lot of my time. last sat was scouts jobweek, was with the boys the whole day. enjoyed myself with ivy & gals on sunday, and k-ing with samantha til late nite. monday tuesday was in sch for meetings and admin work (the DAMN admin work!). wed was my only free day & i simply 罢工, cos i need a break. thur to sat was at scouts camp.

so...a very no life holiday huh...

went shopping & catching up with QM dis evening. bot a pair of papillio. happy! yes, happy to spend money, after weeks of stressed & miserable life in school. spending money at shopping has become an outlet for my stress.

now i have to rush my weekly lesson plan, my EPMS, and a 3yr dept work plan cum dis term's music dept work review. stupid me lor! shud have done the 3yr dept work plan cum term 1 dept work review during the meeting on tues, with my music committee. but i din. cos the VP sent the email so early, and i was so pissed off by the idea of doing a 3 yr work plan... so i just chuck the email aside without noting the deadline... and halfway during camp on fri, received a call fr HOD saying i sent the wrong minutes of meeting. DAMN!

no need to sleep liaoz.....

feeling down...

itz saturday...another day which i spent my hrs in school doing work...only reached aft lunch..wud have been there earlier to clear my wrk, if not bcos i was too tired & overslept..

not sure y i'm feeling down...just feeling a little depressed... probably bcos of wrk... am i just inefficient or wat??? i just can't finish my work... been staying in school for almost 13 hrs everyday & gg back on sat aftnoons. but the work is piling up, higher & higher...

even sadder to say, marking pupils' work is not priority nowadays. admin work is. datz the saddest part about being a teacher. everyday i'll have to clear admin work, and at the end of the day, when i have time aft clearing admin work, then it'll be marking... a teacher said today, and i somehow agree: 很无奈，很悲哀，but it is a fact that admin work is not important BUT urgent, and marking bks & preparing for teaching is important BUT not urgent.

sad to say, but it is a fact that we are kinda graded by the admin work we do. do you complete certain forms & hand in on time, do you plan for events, how successful ur event is, walking up & down talking to pple related to the events, etc, etc... i no longer panic when my marking piles up, i only feel helpless & miserable..

recently been real busy for the scouts investiture nxt weekend. i feel guilty that i haven't done much for my music dept... just took up the position of music coordinator, reli hope i can show some results and not end up doing nothing much. i reli must learn to multi-task... to juggle scouts events & music stuffs...

and just when i'm so so so stressed & busy, i heard something not so pleasant. someone was asking why am i the music coordinator & not her... dis is not the 1st time she's making noise. fr wat i know, she has thrown tat qn to at least 3 pple. there shud b more, itz just that it hasn't got to my ears. y not her... she shud be asking the management, and not colleagues. wat else she said besides asking the qn, i reli dunno. maybe some things bad about me?

itz not upsetting, but it is reli bothering me. we used to be in a beta relationship, b4 i was made the music coordinator. she reli tinks i want to be the music coordinator??? i was appointed, not that i asked for the position. i just hope she stops gg ard saying things behind my back. i wont do anything yet, i shall use my capability to prove that i have the ability to be the music coordinator.

recently yan asked wat i wan for my bday. aft thinking, i said: i don lack anything now. all i need is SLEEP & TIME.

i still love my job, i enjoy having work to do, having chances & opportunities to prove myself. i noe there r bound to be hiccups here & there, now & then... just hope i can take things in my stride. i'm still a beginning teacher, i shall learn to handle things as they come.

something happy for me to share is, my P6s are so sweet. they actually remember my bday, and i've received presents & cards from some of them. sometimes they simply make my day! i'm thankful i have such sweet students, and of coz the sweet colleagues & khakis who has always been there to give me support. i love you people!

updates at work...finally...

wow, my last post was on 3rd december...that was donkey time ago... and i see lesser & lesser posts from my teacher frens' blogs. there can be only 1 conclusion: everyone's just SO BUSY!!! yes, busy till not even havin enuf time to sleep, let alone blog-writing. the Chinese New Year holidays coming, i decided to 罢工 today, since i was alr wrking 9hrs in school yesterday. Yes, even on a sat, it was full day of wrk.

itz a crazy start dis yr. i wud call last yr a big honeymoon! new tasks, new responsibilities, heavier wrkload... staying in sch for 12 hrs almost everyday, sometimes still have to continue wrking back at home. i miss my sleep, i miss my bed, i miss "sayang-ing" my cats, i miss chatting with mum, i miss chatting with my dear! but frankly speaking, i do welcome the challenge, and sometimes i do enjoy being busy.

teaching p6 dis yr, stressed of coz, cos 1st time teaching p6, and the school is result-oriented. and my p6s are so "friend friend" with me, sometimes it makes me worry. worried dat i'm not feirce enuf to make them study seriously. but i reli enjoy my talks & jokes with them. 这一班是活宝！my 1st batch of p6s, definitely feel differently for them, been wif them since last yr p5, saw them grow & change.

oso took up the task of music coordinator...lots of admin work datz making me siao! i've 15 periods of music lessons per week. and bcos i teach so many classes, the students know me, but i dunno them. i c some of them only 1period a week lo. so itz like, everywhere i go in sch, the students wud greet me, but er... i dunno wich class they r from. but it sure feels good to be greeted by so many pple, wahaha..!

nxt new task is teacher-in-charge for scouts. wa, dis is even crazier than being the music coordinator. cos our sch just started scouts dis yr. wich means, no experience, start fr scratch. brot the 18 boys scouts to buy their uniforms ystd. they enjoyed themselves, i oso enjoyed myself! thankful tat all diz 18 are committed & "can be tamed". those who "no heart to join" one have quit, when i heard dat, actually i was smiling inside. eveytime lost consent form, everything oso forget, turn up for CCA only know hw to talk & talk...quit beta lo! don giv me trouble.

lots of my saturdays will be burned bcos of scouts, but which means my EPMS dis yr can be very thick liao loh.. LOL ... oso very thankful tat i'm in scouts wif eunice! alr good frens in the same department, wrk together in scouts definitely easier, and can have fun together! most imptly, often get free rides fr her, hahaha...!

o, i realised, many students have been viewing my profile recently... some adding me, and some kpo ones leaving comments on my photos. so i beta b careful wif wat i write.

can't wait to have a good rest during the chinese new yr holidays. reli need a few days' good sleep to recharge my battery! but itz not totally rest, ultimately still have to complete some work during the CNY holidays. QM, i'm craving for my gyoza liaoz...

*IMPORTANT* please read...thanx!

Dear all,

I've lost all my contacts, cos my hp screen is dead. i can't retrieve anything inside...reli bek cek! cos not only contacts, but information on my bank accounts, credit cards all inside...and i'm flying tonite for my holiday, so i haven't got time to take it for repair. the nxt suay thing is, my PC is oso dead!

i reli tink i'm an IT jinx lor!!! my PC went dead for 2 weeks some time in july, then it was revived again. dis time, i reli hope it wont go dead forever... there r still things inside which i haven't backed up.

i've bot a new hp, so would u please kindly sms me ur contact no., so dat we won't lose contact? thank u very much! my hp no. is still the same, 9873 ****. try to sms me by tonite, cos i'm flying ard midnite, if not, u can email me ur contact, cos i wanna avoid paying the expensiv ovrseas sms fee. i'l try check my email when i'm overseas.

闲着没事，想这儿想那儿。。。

school is finally coming to a close. yes, i am happy! for my holidays. for the fact that i've survived my 1st 6mths teaching. definitely worth celebrating. managed to survive the past half a yr. datz great! cos the worst has yet to come. wonder how all of u r doing out there? did u realise, our blog posts r getting lesser & lesser? 只证明了一件事，就是大家越来越忙，忙得没时间写blog. oops, 好像只有我和恩恩郡主还在常常写，难道我们很‘闲’？;D

met a fren a couple of wks ago..she's still doing her final yr in NIE. she told me itz revision period now, exams coming, and she complained about having to rush assignments. and suddenly, i felt like crying... i reli missed those days of rushing last minute assignments, preparing presentations, revising for exams... rushing tonnes of assignments & preparing for exams is nothing compared to the work & stress i face as a teacher... thinking back, just 7mths ago i was still sitting in tutorial rms & lecture theatres attending my favourite lessons... now...have to b careful & get myself very good "bullet proof vest" & "shield"... to protect myself from "arrows" lah!

是的，我还是喜欢读书的！非常喜欢！不知道什么时候还会有读书的机会。。。

tinking whether to do another degree...in translation & interpretation...but then again...the money & the time... i need too much sleep...don tink i can cope... 可是如果不趁年轻时候读，再拖下去就连想都别想了。

最近学生考完试，快放假了。我还真的挺闲的！超爽！（看我三天两头的写blog 就知道我很闲，哈哈，天天放工回来都可以relax，不用工作到三更半夜！）前几个月真的忙得喘不过气，天天发牢骚来de-stress，不过现在回过头看，也不是挨过来了嘛。所以，老师也不是太糟的一份职业啦。每一行都有其中的苦，只是你看我好，我看你好罢了。可是，闲着、闲着，又会不自觉地想起一些过去的事，回忆起生命中的一些人。。。一个人。。。

曾经有这么一个人，给过我十天的快乐。十天过后，一年后，两年后，甚至三年后，我都很少想起他。最近他却常常浮现我的脑海中。每每听到、读到、看到、想到三年半前的那十天，我的心就会揪一下。为何呢？我也不知道。还是感谢他曾经带给我的那短暂的十天的快乐！希望将来还能够有机会再见到他。别误会，我不是对他什么什么。现在对他的想念，和怀念他给过我的快乐，是非常非常单纯的，纯粹从友情的立场出发！希望这个给过我十天快乐，在远方的他，过得非常好！

recently reli more free than the past few mths...finally have the chance to listen to songs and practise my singing!!! very happy!!! for the past 6 mths, i almost din learn any new songs, 唱来唱去都是那几首歌，听到我自己都要吐了！i reli "deproved" a lot, can't stand it...nowadays go singing owiz 力不从心！damn it lor! i reli want to sing! luckily i din continue my advanced course, else wil only end up wasting money. yes, my throat reli can't sing at all during the term. recently students finished exams, no need to teach so much, less strain on my throat, so can practise abit. 希望可以扼补一下自己的功力！

hoping the holidays come soon... first of all, gonna survive thru the nvr-ending full-day meetings from dis fri all the way to nxt fri... >_<||| torture... torture... torture! i will keep yawn yawn yawn yawn & yawn... uncontrollably...
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yes de, itz so hard to arrange a mit-up wif u pals leh! sze, HM, and my Meiting dear..., etc... we r reli so so so so so busy! only my dear shopping cum eating khaki QM got heart, owiz arrange very early to mit up to 疯狂购物 & 疯狂进食 to de-stress...

Shame on you, Singaporeans!

walked past one of the recycling bins in my neighbourhood some weeks ago, couldn't help but took down dis photo & decided to post it on my blog.

i reli appreciate having more recycling bins ard in the neighbourhood, cos itz so much convenient for me to do my part in being environmental-friendly, esp in killing less tress.

but there r just selfish, inconsiderate singaporeans (or maybe not just singaporeans) who treat the recycling bins as dustbins. look at the picture, there r styrofoam cups, hard plastic, lots of plastic bags wif rubbish, instead of recyclable materials. i pity the pple who come & collect stuffs fr recycling bins, poor thing, they've to sort out all diz rubbish. i wonder how much of these rubbish r recyclable stuffs..

so pple out there reading my blog, pls do not be like diz selfish, inconsiderate pple who treat recycling bins as dustbins! recycling bins r not dustbins! there r alr lots of dustbins in the neighbourhood.

if u do not want to play a part in saving the environment, itz ok, just don't make it worse...

感恩

昨天和老妈在回家的路上见到一对父子下巴士。儿子看上去很年轻，20出头吧，斯斯文文，皮肤白皙，长得挺帅的。行动不便，像是中了风。五、六十岁的父亲扶着他下巴士。每一步都是艰辛。他的每一步，正常人能够跑十几步了。一个年轻女子从巴士后门下车，拿了一部轮椅到巴士前门，让男子下了巴士后坐上。然后，父亲就推着那部儿子坐着的轮椅。

老妈说，她经常看见这对父子。每次都是父亲推着坐在轮椅上的儿子。听说是儿子得了某种病。

看了这样的情景，心情相当沉重，心里面感觉很不舒服。可怜那年老的父亲，还得为儿子操心，本应该是由儿子照顾老父的，现在反而是要老父来照顾儿子。可怜那年轻的儿子。大好青年，长得俊俏、秀气，却得被病魔折腾，无法像其他同龄的青年般正常地生活。

深深地觉得，人能够健健康康地活着，真的应该感恩！但愿那名男子能够早日康复，过上正常的生活！

irresponsible parents?

today a P2 girl had an asthma attack in my class... she 's been quite sickly all along, often complaining of stomachache, chest pain, etc. today during my lesson suddenly came to me say she cannot breathe, heart pain. i tot was her normal discomfort, but aft awhile she came up to me the 2nd time & i felt her heart beating so fast. of coz i was scared. nvr handled dis kinda situation b4. very scared she'll pass out in my class. i wouldn't know wat to do..

i went to the form teacher for help. she was in a meeting, and i felt she was not quite willing to help, even tho i told her the girl was in bad shape. maybe these experienced teachers have experienced many situations like dis, so it didn't worry them.. or maybe she tot i could communicate beta wif the girl's family, as they only spoke chinese & dialect. so...i called up the girl's family to pick her up asap.

then, i had to accompany the girl downstairs. she told me she couldn't walk at all, looked like she's in alot of pain. she looked as if she was gg to collapse anytime. i reli din know wat to do, asked her to sit down & went back to the form teacher again for help. AND, again, she din seem willing to help. a PE teacher who was also at the meeting came to help. phew! she was reli good at calming the girl down, and kinda calmed me down too.

i don understand y the form teacher appeared to be so 无动于衷?! itz a girl fr her class lor! i'm new, i've nvr met such a situation, can't she help abit??

anyway, i called the girl's grandma twice tonite. she's now at KK hosp, under observation. wonder wat happened to her... poor thing... hoping she'll recover soon. 没有什么比健康更重要！
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dis girl just makes me think of all the poor children i've met so far. the only one taking care of her is her grandma. her mum is a thai, and she doesn't know where her mum is. her dad has to work, so she seldom sees her dad.

i reli wonder y so many parents nowadays r so irresponsible?! give birth to the child & do not want to take care, or do not have the ability to take gd care of the child... or just throw the child to the grandparents. come on, the grandparents alr took care of the parents for more than half of their lives, can't the parents be more filial, let the grandparents have beta lives?? and not throw them another burden.

these parents don't think.. don't plan.. 生孩子容易，养孩子困难！if u r not ready for the commitment, cannot give ur child the care, the love, the time... then don't give birth. don't let ur child suffer.

reli angry at these parents! some don't even hv enuf to feed themselves, but want to have children. and many of these children end up having academic problems, or behavioural problems. who to blame? definitely not the children. they r the victims.

what else...but, busy

nothing new lah... not much updates, cos life's been boring...nothing much but work, work & nvr-ending work... wat a job! the most hateful part is having to do work at home on wkends...

still not quite used to the tiredness dat i feel everyday aft teaching. and i've found out the cause of it. it is -- teaching. esp shouting at the students & sweating. been teaching for 4mths, but i reli still feel so drained everyday aft work. dat day went into classes for invigilation, no shouting, no teaching. and, i reli felt more energetic aft work dat day. SO, concluded dat this is a very tiring & physical job.

but the year is ending soon, yippie!!! holidays coming! looking real fwd to my holidays! haven been travelling with mum for more than 2 yrs le.. reli excited. 很快地，终于能够看到兵马俑了！希望真的有如书上写的那么壮观，别让我这个秦始皇迷失望！BUT, b4 the real holidays come, there's gonna be non-stop of meetings, work plans, work reviews, zzZZZ.......

nxt yr gonna be a busy year for me... been asked to be the music coordinator for the school. and most prob following up my P5 to teach them in P6. well, good opportunity to perform. but oso "sai-kang"... u do well, pple will take it for granted, and every yr, it'll be u doing it. u don do well, tongues will definitely wag behind ur back. 做人难！

diz 2 days been real CRAZY!!! i wonder if those of u in other schools r as crazy... the chinese exam just took place on wed. and today--friday, we r supposed to finish checking the papers, keying in results into cockpit, printing mark lists for form teachers, and doing some very "ley-chey" HAMALA pupil profiling... yep, 1 set of results, teachers gonna key dunno how many times. still to come, the results analysis & item analysis. inefficient system dat expects us to be efficient.

immediately aft the exam, we r like marking machines. aft marking, we r like data-keying machines... sheong... >_<||| do until i want to cry, rushing like mad. yes, MAD.

ok, enough of complaints... i stil like some parts of my job lah... just dat i need to grumble a little to de-stress. sorry to flood ur ears wif my grumbling.. ^_^ yeah.. still enjoying my good rapport relationship wif my students & passing on knowledge to them.
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Sharing of sth lame..lame pple..lame reasons...:
talking about passing on knowledge... there was dis extremely LAME thing dat happened when i 1st entered the school. remember the principal asked all teachers to write on papers: 1) y we chose to be teachers; 2) what we would like to see in our pupils aft teaching them.

for me, very simple, 1) simply bcos i love & enjoy the process of teaching & passing on knowledge to others. 2) to see my pupils love to learn. at least i tink my reason & goal were realistic & achievable.

there were some in-my-opinion very lame & very fake pple. they actually wrote, they want to cultivate pupils into morally-upright pple, they hope aft 6yrs of education, their pupils wil grow up into morally-upright citizens. wow, 好伟大的理想！omg...wat crap. no one is perfectly morally-upright. we r not saints. look at all of us in this society. how many of us r actually perfectly morally-upright? deep inside i'm thinking, just how many of those teachers reli mean what they wrote. or were they just writing for the sake of writing?

or maybe my english no good lah, got the wrong idea. but they reli wrote in a way like...they r trying to be saints... i still tink the most impt task of a teacher is to pass on knowledge & the love for learning, yet cultivating right moral values while passing on knowledge.

ok, enough of crap fr me... itz gettin late, & i'm starting to blabber nonsense...just feel like blogging... hv u realised, i haven blogged for so long?? all bcos of my busy, physically-cum-mentally-draining job lah...

hope u guys out there have a great weekend!

just wondering...

my sch's end of year prize-giving ceremony is in mid-novermber, and the committee has started planning for it, and has delegated jobs to all teachers. i mentioned earlier, i have to design an invitation card. i haven done a scratch of it. got the wordings ready, but not the design nor any pictures.

all that know me, u all know i'm an idiot at art, at anything that needs creativity. actually dis invitation card thing is not tat difficult lah, itz just tat i've got more impt things to do now tat student's exams r ard the corner.

hmm...i am just wondering...y can't my school just buy a nice presentable invitation card & print the words on it????? i reli reli reli reli reli wonder y leh... they told me the invitation card's gonna be sent to the guest of honour, some minister. then all the more shud go buy a presentable card mah... and it SAVES SO MUCH trouble & time! y ah??? can someone tell me y??? i reli don understand leh. y must make an invitation card???

i'm not fed-up or angry or anything...just reli wonder y... anyone has any answers to my question? y can't they save more time? save more trouble? then things can be more efficient. hmm...how come such things tat need efficiency nvr gets efficient. but certain things, like change of password and some other non-constructive things r supposed to be efficient?

ok, i shall go ask y can't the school buy a nice presentable invitation card.

某某与某某某

得知某某与某某某的事情，不算惊讶。哈哈，因为早就认定他们一定会有这样的发展。心里面其实很为他们高兴！第一次看到两个朋友发展成为好朋友，然后晋升为“更好”的朋友，那种过程和感觉。。。很妙！无法形容。我喜欢你们的坦白，竟然能够那么白的互相说出想法与担忧，对我这个朋友，或者“姐姐”也没有隐隐藏藏。

我知道这句话没什么用，但我还是要对你们说：“别想太多，走一步看一步。” 就算是在途中受了伤，发生了你们不想发生的状况，也无所谓。这一切不都是人成长的过程吗？

“姐姐”在此献上我的祝福，等待下一次的佳讯。

庄子思想 = 双头蛇？

今天和海蝶的朋友们聚了聚。很开心！JL 仍然一样entertaining，haha.. thanx for all the jokes!  你今天特别搞笑咯，莫非是想“搏君一笑”？

现在回到家又觉得倍感压力！想到明天是星期天，但仍然必须在家赶工，还要赶得半死，真的好想哭！真的有做不完的工作，单单这个周末，就要赶出weekly lesson plan, COMPLETED EPMS, students' CME grades, design invitation card for sch's prize-giving ceremony。EPMS 就够我死的了！不过还是庆幸今天，星期六，我和朋友们过了开心的一天！itz reli a good break from my stressful working life!

ok, deviate fr my main topic again.. owiz like dat.. 庄子一直都是我偶像。没错，是2000多年前那个哲学家庄子。我一直都很认同庄子那一套看法。今天在和朋友聊天时才发现，我真的把庄子的那一套看法apply在我生活上。结果呢，朋友说我怎么don't take a stand，有点双头蛇。

alamak! 竟然说我双头蛇?! 哈哈，我是不介意的啦，反正大家都是开玩笑，没恶意的。我解释说，我不是不take stand，只是很多时候，对和不对、黑和白、长和短，其实都无需争辩，因为并没有什么分别。

对和不对的问题，只是从不同的角度、不同的利害关系看待问题。你认为这样东西黑，那是因为你脑子里已经有了白的观念。你认为这样东西长，那是因为你拿了比它短的东西去和它相比。你觉得某样东西漂亮，那是因为你已经有了什么叫漂亮的观念。所以，庄子认为，这一切的争论都是无谓的。我认同庄子的看法，但并不觉得这一切的争论是无谓的。

所以啊，朋友，我只是帮你们分析situation，我并没有take a stand。庄子的思想不是双头蛇的思想ok？

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ok，废了一堆，该是去卸妆、冲凉，准备睡觉的时候了。明天还要去facial，然后回家赶工。有时候真的好想哭，stressed，不知道什么时候才能够把东西做完。。。以前读书就算last minute 应付考试都没这么stressed。唉，还是读书比较好！让我考试连续考100个科目，那种压力都比不上我现在工作上所面对的压力...

忙！忙！忙！

nothing but busy!!! got no time to blog... so many things happened, but yet, seems like nothing happened. bcos all that has happened is nothing but work. spent afew hrs last nite doing some non-teaching related stuffs. felt so fed-up..y do we have to do so many things that r not related to teaching??? had a late nite last nite, was editing my EPMS and updating the soft copy of my CCA & supplementary classes attendance.

lesson observation was finally over. glad nothing went wrong. very fortunate that i've got a good RO. but she's retiring dis yr end..and wonder nxt yr whom i'll be thrown to...hopefully...pray hard hard itz not ...... (that somebody whom everyone fears & hates, hahaz....)

the weather is fucking hot recently... so hot i can constantly feel my sweat dripping & dripping as i teach. damn weather...makes me so tired... so sticky & smelly aft the end of the day. so paiseh to take bus, everyday have to spray perfume b4 i leave school. and yet cannot wear those real comfortable clothes...my school quite strict with wat we wear. can't even wear long tights lo... must be tailored pants. sleeveless tops, the shoulder part oso cannot be too thin. aiya, alot of this & that lah...

been chasing the 9pm show lately. quite nice! at least some entertainment aft a long tiring day...

gotta go catch the show now. looking fwd to the days i can mit up wif my frens again...

stressed....=(

work's very stressful nowadays, esp dis term... making me feeling very stressed, very tired diz days... itz making me sick too...

i'm sick today, took MC, hopefully can accomplish some work at home. finally the chinese 7th month is over! evey yr, i HATE the chinese 7th month, bcos of the burning, dat makes my nose feel terrible. hopefully, the air clears up abit, and my nose will gradually get well. been having flu, or sinus, on & off for weeks.

stressed....bcos there's lesson observation coming up nxt monday. stressed bcos dis term is so short, i'm worrying about not being able to complete the syllabus. stressed bcos i'm worrying about not having enuf time to do revision with my students. actually, i tink ultimately, the thing datz making me most stressed is the lesson observation on monday bah..i feel so tensed up bcos of the stupid observation. last time practicum owiz get observed, got so used to it, i din feel a thing. but...last 2 yrs in BA no practicum at all, haven't been observed for more than 2 yrs le...i bet aft nxt monday, i gonna feel relieved, relaxed & happy!

even my student can feel my stress. yesterday a P5 boy asked me, "老师，你最近是不是很忙？你很像比较容易不耐烦。" shit lor...datz unprofessional of me! i thot i was acting usual. but somehow, the more sensitive students could feel it. aiya, also bcos some of the students in dat class are so disrespectful lah! being nice to them doesn't pay well. dey take advantage of my "nice-ness" towards them, and some of them r so so so so so rude & disrespectful.

there r 2 particular gals in tat class who r "not sweet at all"! usually the girls r very sweet, and even if they r not listening to my lesson, they'll just b day-dreaming or drawing. once in awhile i close one eye. but DIZ 2 GALS r real irritating! one actually changed her plc when i was facing the computer. they r owiz talking & the one who changed plc never looks at the textbk1... wat the hell??!!! y nowadays students so bold & disrespectful one??? at least shud come & ask me permission to change plc right? if her results r fantastic, fine, i shall close one eye. but NO! these 2 gals have the worst results among the girls.

some of them, when i scold them, they don even feel guilty or embarrassed. they can still smile & laugh! OMG!!! last time teachers call our names, we alr so scared. teachers call our names only, we would feel like finding a hole to hide our faces. but nowadays, some students don even think they r wrong...i owiz tell my students "教你们一年，我会短命十年。" owiz falling sick is alr a good example of my life getting shortened, wahaha....

haiz...sometimes i see the students nowdays... i reli reli reli think s'pore's future is FINISHED! so once in awhile, i reli think of migrating..but where to...

gossips...

reli feeling so stressed up i called my colleague (a senior) & asked for advice. after listening to her, i feel better! ya, itz no point replying the email, cos in the end oso kena arrow. well, even if i can't adapt, i still have to accept the fact that dis school is like dis...everything last minute. now i reli tink, they cancelled the last observation not bcos out of goodwill. saying giving us more time to adjust, to prepare, i tink itz all crap & bullshit! most prob, it was bcos some of those big shots themselves were busy.

still stressed, but gotta go on wif the thing... reli hoping for the months & yrs to fly past...
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nxt thing, yea...look at the title, i'm here to gossip..

1） 在这所学校3个月了，我看到了... 想要攀上高高的位子，靠的并不是教学法。说起来真可笑！明明是当老师嘛，可是，评定你的实力、你的表现的，并不是你的教学。你教得再好也没用。要攀上高位子，靠的是，你会不会和学校里的大人物搞关系，你会不会搞花样、会不会wayang，会不会做一些在我认为是很无聊、无谓的initiatives。有些老师，在这里是公认的“受宠者”、“有potential 的”，可是，看看他们的教学，有些是他们教他们的，学生在后面玩自己的，或者，wrksheets从来不发回给学生。总之，在教学上，不能说他们是负责任的好老师。可是，这些不负责任的老师，可是很会跟上头搞好关系，虽是不会教书，但十分会搞花样，所以是标准的"potentials"。

2）有些人真是恶心，要你帮她完成她的任务的时候，对你是好声好气，用的是恳求的语气。在你答应她之后，她对你可是不闻不问，甚至，你在帮她完成任务的过程中遇到了困难，去请教她，她对你简直是不理不睬。反正她把任务交给你，就算死你都得完成，完成得了是她的功劳，完成不了就是你的inability。就是看不惯她那种前后判若两人的态度。

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近日八卦就到此，相信往后会让我挖掘更多的八卦事。

updates (05/09/2007)

itz the 1 week september holidays, but itz only for students, not for teachers. yes, NOT AT ALL for teachers. but i'm glad i enjoyed last weekend, went shopping wif mama on saturday & met-up with my music forest pals to celebrate shanna's bday on sunday. we went eating-singing-eating-chatting-pooling. shanna & JL said my voice din "deprove", only din improve loh...LOLz...actually din "deprove" i alr super happy liaoz.. looking fwd to our nxt meet-up again, ard october, for zihui's bday?

ok, back to the stupid holidays. had a rest on monday. tues (yesterday) attended a super long full-day meaningless course in a super cold & dry aircon room. the sch paid $180 for each of us, but i don c where the $180 goes to, the food was bad, the venue was only so-so, the course was only 50% useful. worse of all, it made me so cold i came hme with a flu! took medicine, slept for 14 hrs, but woke up STILL with a flu. and my palms till now are still so dry, fr the SUPER POWER AIRCON.

i'm left with today & the wkends to buck up on my work. i've to complete my EMPS today, to see my supervisor tmr in school & finish up some marking of corrections in sch tmr. fri there's dis teachers' mass lecture at the expo, at 8 in the morning... damn shit loh, saying itz bcos of teachers' day then have dis mass lecture. if itz reli teachers' day, then give us a GOOD BREAK!!! we reli need dat! and not wake up early in the morning, go to such a faraway plc--Expo and listen to some crap stuffs by some crap pple. then there's still the setting of SA2 paper, setting of term 4 wrksheets, worst of all, lesson observation!

reciving the email notification of the lesson observation is making me HATE MY SCHOOL AGAIN! remember some time towards the end of the june hols, i was making a big fuss, scolding in my blog for the short notification of lesson observation at the end of july? they cancelled the lesson observation some 2 wks b4 the actual thing, when some of us had alr started preparing. well, they put in SUCH a nice way, saying they want to give us more time to prepare. and i was reli thankful, thinking they know itz unfair to observe us, giving us such short notice.

now i reli regret being thankful! 狗改不了吃屎！烂学校就是烂学校！can't they be kinder to teachers? now, itz coming to the end of the 1 week holidays. and i just received the email TODAY, informing us that our observation is on term 4 week 2. which means, we only have 1 week to prepare. WTF??!! itz real ridiculous. just bcos some colleagues reminded them about our observation, they just anyhow throw us a date & let us go & die. FUCKING SCHOOL WIF A FUCKING SYSTEM! 怪不得永远翻不了身！shud i send an email back & reflect the unfairness??? reli 不服气！when they cancelled the last observation, they claimed it is to let us have more time to prepare. then now comes this SHIT!

i've only completed 5% of my bond, and i can't help but wish i could be out of the teaching service. i love teaching, but the stupid system is damn fucked-up. all the red-tapes, the inflexibility of rules & regulations & especially the last minute culture of my school... the stupid last minute culture is making me real stressed-up! ya...wat a job, when i've only been in for 3mths, and i've been falling sick more often than when i was in NIE. and the stress is making my hormones-cycle gg messed-up..

updates (18/08/2007)

went shopping wif qiumei today... bot lots of stuffs, but mostly r for work purpose & necessities fr the body shop. only bot a dress fr bysi. hmm...don feel so good aft shopping today... cos i din buy alot of clothes, bags, shoes & accessories. yea, i usually feel the satisfaction when i come back aft shopping with bagfuls of clothes, shoes & accessories.

bot some children's day presents for my P1s & P2s. haven decided wat to get for my P5s. wa, counted, i have 75 students, gotta spend a bomb for children's day presents & sweets loh...^_^||| *SHEONG*

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was sick last week, sore throat & cough not yet recovered, but still gotta teach last tues & wed, cos need to do last minute revision wif the kids b4 their CA2. so i ended up with a painful throat infection on thursday & i had to be on MC, therefore was absent for the 1st day of PSLE oral.

back on school on fri, dat was a good day, cos my PSLE oral duty ended early & i could do some admin stuffs. most imptly, i could leave sch early & spend the whole day with deardear. 好难得哦！ usually by the time i mit him every fri, itz alr 6+pm..=( every week can only mit him for such a short time.

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feel like singing...haven been to ktv for so long alr!!!! tink my singing is very sucky now. haven sung for so long, haven practised for so long, teach everyday until my voice deteriorates.. sad!

最近在追一套连续剧，《大清风云》（又名《清宫风云》）。很多人一听到这个名字，连看都不想看这部剧。可我却在追。还觉得很好看。嘻...历史剧嘛，我的最爱。虽然这部剧有很多虚构的部分，我还是很喜欢。可以学到很多词汇。现在我也比较明白严老师教过的“八旗”、“议政会”、“三司”、“汉旗”、“三部尚书”等概念。就当作是温故知新吧，否则，整天在学校教那么容易的东西，很多在大学学过的知识迟早要给忘光！当初买这部剧的原因还有，我很喜欢剧中演多尔衮的那位演员 -- 张丰毅。曾经看了他演的《秦始皇》，觉得他演得还挺棒的。

每天工作回来只有一个字 -- SIAN！很累、很疲劳，就什么都不想做，所以就追看这部剧咯，让自己好好放松！

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next wk is CA2 week. hope nothing goes wrong. hope it wont be so tiring, cos no need to rush marking (except common marking of exam papers) & no need to rush syllabus.

thinking of the next someting i can look fwd to, to keep myself from feeling stressed & sianz over work...

when r the stocks gg to rise again???

aiyo...the stock market is terrible now! itz dropping terribly!!! i know the asian stocks r dropping recently, but i din know the situation is ssssoooooo BAD until qiumei brought it up today, and i just went to check my investment funds.

DAMN shit loh! my fund price has been rising all along & i reli tot it was good money. now, it has dropped to the price where it was last yr. WTF... took 1 yr to rise, but within afew days/weeks, dropped to the one-yr-ago price.

haiz.....wat to do, but leave the money there to freeze until it rises again...=(  so it was reli the bubble effect afew mths ago, when the china stocks keep rising at super rates.

y sick during holidays??!!!!

damn shit! such a long wkend is so hard to come by, and here i am, sick on a long wkend... nothing but suay! well, i tink i've only got myself to blame, knowing i can't take chocolate, but couldn't resist, finished a whole bar of chocolate on nat'l day. fri nite came back fr JB wif a sore throat & running nose.

wanted to go back to sch on saturday to do marking, but din do a shit, except sleeping at hme aft taking the flu medicine. haiz...always sick during holidays, can't enjoy. =( 真讨厌啦！

a good nat'l day eve

super tired & sleepy...but forcing myself to blog, for fear tat i may not owiz hv the time to blog whenever i want...

today is nat'l day eve, and there was nat'l day celebration in sch. i din get to watch the concert, cos was running up & down for my drinks-serving duty. it was a busy, tiring, bloody-warm, sweaty, sticky & sunny day. was under the sun for quite long, with the milo van. yeah!!! milo van! remember when i was a student, i wud b excited to drink fr the milo van. and i owiz couldn't get enuf to drink, bcos my teachers only allowed us to drink 1 or 2 cups. and today, being a teacher, i had to b in charge of the milo van. surprisingly, i din crave for the milo as much as i did when i was a student, haha...

tho under the sun for so long, kept walking up & down, it was a fulfilling & happy day4me! my student helpers were GREAT!!! reli appreciate their help! all my P5 darlings! tink they did a great job. reli love them! a boy was sick, but he insisted on coming to sch cos he had promised to help. **TOUCHED** another boy kept fanning me & kept serving me cold milo. **AWWW....SO SWEET**

despite being under the sun for afew hrs, despite walking up & down serving parents & teachers, my darlings didn't complain at all. i could c they were enjoying helping. at a look, u could c afew of them r the type tat do not do any hsewrk, clumsy, spill milo here & there. but they were CUTE! and they were so enthu in helping. i'm reli touched!

i reli shud call up their parents & praise their kids! yep, we shouldn't b calling parents just to complain. we should call & praise as well! so i just called one of my darling's guardian & praised him. and i guess, the boy feels good, the guardian feels good & i feel good as well! =) who doesn't love praises rite? shall slowly call up some of their parents & praise the children.

and i got praised fr my in-charge, for doing my job well. heeheez... **HAPPY** c, i feel happy being praised. so my darlings will definitely b happy too, if i were to call & praise them.

brought back lots of bks to mark & compos to mark oso. sianz...can't reli enjoy dis long wkend, except maybe gg to JB for a gd massage dis fri! but dear seems to be falling sick. he beta not fall sick oh, else my massage session will b gone! and then monday on course again, so gotta prepare stuffs for the relief teacher to do wif my classes. wat a busy long wkend. i just wish i could have a good long sleep! well, if my pupils r all like my darlings today, then no matter hw busy, FOR THEM, itz still worth it!

monday was a happy day

haiz..was writing dis blog post on monday, then dunno wat happened, stupidly & accidentally pressed the re-start button on my keyboard, so the whole post gone! waste my efforts!

was on course on monday. it was a happy day! bcos i saw my old frens! we used to c one another everyday at nie, for the past 4yrs, and even during the long 3-mth semester brk, we din miss one other much. now, we've all graduated, teaching in different schools, we start missing one another. life's an irony! but the feeling of meeting old frens is reli great! looking fwd to meeting them again coming monday, for another course!

well, gg on course has its pros & cons. pros, of coz is, being away fr school! can kinda recharge. cons...aft being away fr school, things r often, if not always, in a big mess! and when we return to sch, have to "pick shit"(translate to hokkien) loh! teaching in sch can b enjoyable, but itz stressful & the mind & body feels alot of tension, itz like gg to war, rushing in & out of classes, one aft another, with nvr-ending stuffs to do. so on monday, tho i was super tired, with only 5hrs of sleep the previous nite, i still sat there & enjoy the day where i can take a short little brk fr teaching.

hope to have a gd rest dis long wkend, and looking fwd to seeing my old frens on monday!

updates

this gonna b a long post...sorry, zhaoxian, u've to say, 要不然就是不写，一写就写那么长的 blog post, haha! been sooooooo busy tat i haven had time to write my blog! SAD.... tat life has to be so busy!

the past 2 weeks were nothing but busy... convocation is over, will be missing my NIE mates. but coming monday, we've course at teachers netwrk, and i'm so excited i gonna c them again!!!=) aft stepping out into the working world, nothing beats seeing old frens, old schoolmates!

tink abt it, i miss my best fren meiting leh... woman, how r u? we haven met up for so long... miss chatting & shopping wif u!!!

time reli flies, i've been teaching at bendemeer pri for more than a mth alr.. 6 wks of this term has passed. i've built my rapport wif my kids, and getting familiar & adapted to the environment, life & wrkload of a teacher. CA2 is coming, and i'm getting worried about not being able to complete the syllabus. haiz...so many things coming up to disrupt lessons..national day holidays, PSLE oral exam, me attending courses, blah blah blah...

today went back to decorate the tree in the hall for nat'l day. monday i'm on course, so i wanted to type out the detailed instructions for the relief teacher & finish marking the bks, so tat my students can do their work on monday. BUT... i only had time to finish doing the tree. before i could do anything else, the school attendants were alr closing the school. y can't the school give us keys? we can stay back till late at nite to finish our stuffs then, and help them lock up the school. HATE IT!!!! end up bringing about 100 bks home so tat i can mark, another about 50 still left on my desk, bcos i don have enuf hands to bring all back.

ARGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! sometimes the school attendants give us "black face" bcos we teachers leave the sch too late. they've to wait for us to all go, before they can lock up the school. sometimes we feel paiseh oso, for holding them back. BUT, u tink we want to stay so late meh??? u tink i like gg back to sch to do wrk on wkends? u tink i donwan to sleep & rest at home during wkends meh? u tink i donwan to leave the school early so tat i can come back & accompany my family, my bf???

all MOE's fault lah!!!! 老师越来越难做了! pattern liao liao! nvr-ending wrk... ok, here i am starting to grumble again.. yea, i've got lots of bks to mark, yet i'm blogging huh... just wanna blog, cos i haven blogged for some time...

haiz..i realised aft i start teaching, i can't sing liao...voice cannot sustain, cannot hit high notes, even pitching oso not tat accurate liao...音准一直乱乱飘! everyday have to strain my vocal chords while teaching... AND most impt reason is, i've stopped my singing lessons. 不进则退, i tink itz natural tat i've "deproved", since i no longer have vocal lessons for me to practise & train...

gonna have long long wkend nxt wk bcos of national day. happy of coz! i can recharge myself! reli can't remember when was the last time i had a nice satisfying long sleep. and nxt fri shall go to JB for a nice massage! and a nice meal! and SHOPPING!!!! and lookinf fwd to pay day again, so tat i can shop again, ahaha...

almost an accident

i almost got knocked down by a van today...careless me! here's the story:

had no choice but to go to school today to decorate the big tree in the hall for national day. and STUPID me, i actually couldn't be bothered to take a look at the tree before today. i just took for granted that the tree was made of styrofoam. just before i hung up the cards then i realised, the material was sponge, NOT styrofoam! thank god mrs chua was there to giv me ideas, else i wudn't have known wat to do, cos i'm an IDIOT when it comes to artwrk & designing.

so there i went, rushing fr the school to Bendemmer Mall to get the materials. it was only a 10-minute walk, but i took a cab to & fro, bcos i know the sch closes at 6pm, and i only had 4hrs to do everything.

on the way back, i had to walk behind a van to get onto the cab which i had flagged. who knows, the van actually reversed, and my wrist was knocked. well, my fault, cos i thought the van was stationary, and the driver's fault too, cos he din c me crossing the small road. i tink the van was reversing at a super slow speed. had it reversed at a higher speed, i wud have been GONE liao!

i was reli SHOCKED!!! abit frightened... it happened most probably oso bcos i din get enuf sleep, plus i was reli rushing.

last nite on the way back fr dear's hse, heard the horrible loud screeching & BANG of a car, but din witness the accident. just hearing it was alr scary enuf.. and today, it almost happened to me...还是心有余悸！

well, my wrist seems still ok so far, about 6hrs since the minor accident happened.. no blue-black, no swelling, no pain yet. but i'm still worried. hope itz just a knock & nothing inside was injured...

i reli reli reli will be more careful in future, when crossing roads...

my latest updates

finally found time to go colour my hair today! phew... no choice, monday is convo, gotta look nice nice. want to go for pedicure tmr, but i guess most prob i wont have enuf time for it... can't beliv, i actually went back to school to do work today! YES, itz saturday... aft my hair apptment, i went to school & worked fr 5.30pm till 10.15pm...haha...dis slack slack steph actually so hardwrking today...

cos monday i'm on leave for my convo mah, havent finished my markings... plus, wanted to type out the detailed instructions for the relief teacher, so tat when i come back on tues, things wont be messy, then i wont have to go MAD. and today school opened till late at nite, bcos the P5 kids went to watch NDP. so just nice for me, dis nite cat. i hate to go to school in the mornings!

work is getting beta, happier... i love my students, esp my P5s. cos they like me. ahahaha... ya wad, u noe pple like u, most of the time, u'll oso tend to like them back1loh... i tink the students like me bcos i'm not fierce to them, so sometimes they do bully me, not afraid of me. but i reli don like gg to class everyday with an angry face & shout at students, or be fierce to them. i wanna go into class everyday with a smile & come out with a smile, & treat my students wif smiles! i wan my students to enjoy my lessons & enjoy talking to me. i reli enjoyed telling them about chinese history dat day on thur, & surprisingly, they enjoyed hearing me talking about chinese history more than reading & going thru their textbks. i guess the CL textbk is reli a failure, the chapters inside simply r not able to capture students' interest.

yesterday one of my students actually told her friend fr another class “这个老师很好的！”, haha... i feel happy of coz, but i guess kids don reli know how to differentiate, u don scold them, they'll say u r good. but actually, datz not the fact. i don tink i'm dat good yet. i'm still learning to teach them well, reli worried they will not do well for their CA2. i'm still a very new & raw teacher who do not have the experience & methods to teach them well enuf. seeing my students like me reli gave me motivation to do more work for them. erm...but dunno how long dis motivation will last lah..

my lesson observation has been postponed to term4. YEAH!!! wont b so stressed! but i reli hope the school plan things earlier, so tat we can have ample time to prepare. i only love my students loh, not dis school yet...

another stress-ing thing coming up...the national day celebration..i'm in that committee, and will be incharge of certain things, all alone, yes... reli stressed loh, cos i'm still new in this school, and i'm being put in charge all alone for some duties. hope i'll b able to get afew teachers & my dear students to help me.

all & all, the week tat has just passed is a fulfulling week, and i'm feeling more & more satisfied as the weeks go by. teaching is a satisfying job...BUT, only teaching wor...not the rest of the work, like admin work...gotta re-do some parts of my EPMS, dis wkend gotta rush lesson plan again...haiz...if i don have to do all diz REAL MEANINGLESS ADMIN STUFFS, i can actually have more time to prepare more things for my students. STUPID ADMIN WORK & STUPID SILLY SYSTEM!!!!

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went to watch harry potter ystd & die hard some weeks ago. love both shows! die hard is reli action-packed, fr the start to the end, it captured my full attention. dis is the kind of show i like! lots of action, lots of explosion & stuffs. & i've always loved bruce willis.

as for harry potter, i've watched every episode of it, so can't give any episode a miss. many of my friends had told me dat this episode is not tat fantastic. so i went to watch with low expectations, expecting it to be boring. but it turned out to be good! so...my conclusion is, don trust the critics! yea..all the magazines gave it such a low rating. maybe datz y pple started saying itz not tat fantastic. but i find it good! i had a super long & tiring day ystd, but i din even feel like falling asleep during the movie. not like the last episode of the pirates...i went "space" for so many times during tat movie.

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i reli miss watching tv at hme during wkends.. past 2 wkends have been out, today been wrking...and i reli miss my 吴宗宪，周日8点党 & 我猜。真的好久没有看了！and 《清宫风云》，哈...我知道很少人会喜欢这类型的电视剧。但是我却超爱！因为跟中国历史有关嘛。今天错过了，明天也会错过，唯有希望下个周末我能够好好地赖在家里，观看我喜欢的电视节目！

how come today end so quickly???

on UPA leave today & attended investiture. back to a familiar plc which i've studied in for 4 yrs. haiz...and it has come to the end of today again...sad, y happy moments r owiz so short & pass so quickly. tmr is back to wrk again...and gotta be in school at 8.30am for common vetting of CA papers, then gotta teach till 5pm... feel tired even just tinking about the long day. thur oso start early again, some wateva portal training stuffs la.

feel so good seeing old classmates today! a pity only some of us turned up. hope to c more on the 23rd for convocation. dat day is very impt. today's investiture is just be there so tat i can take a day off fr teaching. and reli appreciate my VP's attendance at our investiture today. she specially took time to attend it to support us.

yeah! pay & bonus is coming soon. slog everyday, at least let us c the money on every 12th of the month to 慰劳我们，让我们心理平衡一点。QM suggested ktv & shopping dis sat. initially i din wanna go, cos i tot of all the work waiting for me to do, i feel like going into a depression. but then...wrk seems nvr-ending, in dis job at least. if i don force myself to go out & unwind, i tink 7days a week i'm gonna go wrk, then come hme do work. then it wud b reli no life!

lesson observation coming...i reli got no ideas yet & just don feel like doing the lesson plan. super sianz...i don tink any of my classmates have lesson observation as early as mine.

itz a long long day tmr, and thurs as well...reli hope diz 2 days will pass very very very quickly, then itz fri again, i can c my deardear again! used to mit him twice a week, but now only once a week. last week worse, bcos of satuday's sch opening, i had to sleep early on fri nite, couldn't even accompany deardear for long, only dat few hrs. 真讨人厌，连拍拖都不能好好拍...

datz all for now... hopefully have the time to blog again very soon.

teaching is a learning journey

first of all, my apologies! i tink i gave wrong info in my previous post. the collection of degree cert is at nanyang auditorium, level3, exhibition hall, from 9-11am. the BLUR me! still said the info is for all those blur ones, in fact i'm the real blur one, ahaha!!! thanx to ZX who called & inform me! anyway, the one on my previous post is only for those who can't collect tmr la.
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my mood is good today! i tink mainly bcos tmr can escape fr school & go for investiture & c all my nie mates! i miss all of you!!! i still love studying, and i miss studying! hw i wish i can go back to studies again...

and happy also bcos my classes went generally well in school today!=) don worry, i'm not owiz complaining. AND, do u all realise, i complain only of the SCHOOL, not of my pupils.

u noe wat, today i suddenly realised, a teacher actually goes thru so many different kinds of emotions in a day. i reli tink being a teacher will shorten one's life. serious! if i were to use colours to represent my mood dis few days, i wud say, fr last thur to sunday, it was vomit colour. yes, cos i feel disgusted by the school...no basic welfare (FOOD!!!民以食为天嘛！), long relief for combined classes, etc, etc... BUT today, the colours wud be pastel pink & pastel purple. cos they r SWEET COLOURS!

yep, i feel good today! bcos of many reasons la...the investiture tmr... and i had enuf sleep ovr the wkend, so i definitely feel beta & teach beta today! and things generally go well in my classes today. i could carry out & finish wat i had planned! SO, i am happy! yes, dis is the joy of a simple teacher. to b able to carry out wat she plans, to teach the class wat she plans, and students do wat she instructs & learns. ya, ultimately i still love teaching one...itz just the school culture i'm disgusted with.

ok, a little complaint here again, b4 i share my joy with u all. tmr is my investiture, and so i'm on UPA leave. i've alr informed the teachers who r planning relief timetable, i informed them as early as last wed or thur, wanting to give them convenience so tat they kud plan early, and also so tat i could get informed early, then i can plan wat to let the relief teacher do, inform the relief teacher.

BUT, until the later half of today, i still haven got informed of who is gg to do relief for me tmr. then they tell me itz miss H, but they cannot find ms H, cos she's in the morning session, and end of school for morning session. so, i was told to inform ms H. so i informed ms H, and unfortunately, ms H is not feeling well. so i went to inform those pple in charge of relief timetable, THEN, i was informed ms H will not b doing relief for me. HUH!!! WAT??? if i din go & look for them to inform them ms H is not feeling well & may not b able to relief me, it means i will still b so silly, typing out my instructions in the staff room, for ms H to carry out wif my classes tmr.

so, i shud thank ms H for falling sick rite? else i wudn't have found out. yep, so i was told no one doing relief for me, itz split class. YA, DIS SCHOOL IS SSSOOOO POOR DEY HAVE NO $$ OR DONWAN TO SPEND $$$ TO EMPLOY RELIEF TEACHERS, RIDICULOUS LAH! ok, so i had to trouble some of my colleagues again, due to last minute change of plan.

THEN...just b4 i stepped out of the office, i was told, PM session is split class, AM session classes, a trainee teacher will do relief for me. reli...wat the F*** lo...confused....keep changing & changing...and if i hadn't bumped into her, i wudn't know. dey expect us to know things w/o them informing us. i'm not someone wif magic powers wor...how wud i know w/o someone informing me. then still ask if i've things for the relief teacher to do. haiz..i wanted to prepare things, it was them who told me no relief teacher mah, so i din type out my instructions. then last minute ask me if i got type out any instructions...DUH...

see, datz y i'm pissed off about the sch culture. i'm not complaining bcos i like complaining. there r just alot of things wich i'm not used to, and i'm stil learning to adapt. haiz...watz the use of informing them my leave so early, when they only plan relief the very last minute...but then, if i din inform them early, i'll be blamed for not informing early...难！难！难！
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yep, back to sharing my joy. i'm starting to like my p1s...sometimes they are abit blur & restless. but this few recent lessons wif them, i find them getting beta! they just need some proper lessons & 规律...i tink the previous teacher who retired reli let them have their way & she's very messy la. basically i don have any disruptive pupils in my P1 class, and i'm thankful! dis few lessons, i get to carry out wat i planned & finished teaching wat i plan. and they r less restless, more attentive, and they look like they r enjoying my lesson!=) if they can keep it dis way, i wanna try group wrk wif them.

my P5s...hmm..today did my 1st composition wif them, haven marked, but the process was ok, they had group discussion for the 1st time, the previous teacher actually did none wif them. eee, it was abit noisy la, but 1st time, alr considered passable. and the number of students who handed in within class time was more than i had expected. dis class can b angelic, IF those few monkeys r taken out. adrian tan, changyun, lin shiheng, an jie & yousheng. i'm still learning how to tame them... i dunno hw to be fierce & firm leh, datz y they r not afraid of me. datz y i said teaching is a learning journey, learning hw to deal wif all kinds of kids, and learning hw to carry out my lessons in beta ways.

my P2s r the ones tat r making me feel STRESSED...^ ^||| only 12 of them, but super low ability, some cannot even understand my instructions, super short concentration span, forever cannot remember wat they learn. i have to use more energy to teach the 12 of them, as compared to my 28 P1s & 35 P5s. i reli do not know how to teach them, yet. first time taking these kind of students. AND, they r the class that will be observed in about 3 wks' time, for my appraisal, ARGGHHHHH!!!! y izit them???? these kinda of ability, how to have group activities??? i noe itz very wrong to say dis, but i reli prefer teaching pupils of higher ability. i mean, i know i can do beta teaching higher ability pupils. and teaching higher ability pupils spur my interest.
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ok, so now, my main problem is my P2s... the other 2 classes more or less quite ok & slowly settled liao.

i reli do feel abit rusty, bcos the past 2 yrs have only been studying, without any practicums...plus i'm not the creative type, with lots of ideas. i reli tink the other 2 BTs samantha & eunice r much beta than me. they jus did their practicums, not like me, lost touch wif teaching for 2 yrs, and they reli have ideas with group activities, games, etc... so, like i said, teaching is a learning journey. a long one indeed!

updates...complaints...

my comp is still dead...bro ain't got time to repair it for me, and i myself oso no time to bring it somewhere for repair...so i guess i have to learn to survive borrowing bro's laptop, carrying it to & fro his room & my room, and sometimes hear him complain & grumble about me affecting his lifestyle, cos he needs his laptop as well..=( i guess i have to wait till the september hols, b4 i have the time to carry it for repair, or beta still a change a whole new PC.

so....i do miss msn-ing! erm..bro's laptop has msn, but itz a different version fr mine, so when i log on, i do not see my contacts...i am reli an IT idiot ok, so i don bother to find out y, or try getting my contacts back.

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guess wat, i slept at 5pm last evening, and woke up at 8am dis morning...wich means i slept for 15hrs! u can imagine hw tired i was. ystd was my school's official opening, so had a long day, plus not enuf slep for the past few days. aft my bath, i had planned only for a long nap, maybe 3hrs, but who knows...i was reli so mentally & physically tired, tat i concussed for 15 hrs...but i feel great & satisfied aft such a long sleep!

ok, here comes the complaints...being a teacher in s'pore is reli tiring! only 2 wks in teaching, and i alr feel i can't stand it anymore. itz reli a shit job lah! eveyday in sch work work work, come hme don have personal time to enjoy, even at hme oso have to work work & work. dis wkend seems so short bcos of the stupid sch opening, sat burned. left only sunday. and oso still gotta work work & work, set papers, weekly lesson plan, prepare work for students. nothing but work!

everyday so hot, esp in the aftnoons. and aft teaching, i feel so sticky & stinky! wat a job! i wan a job where i can wear nice nice everyday, put on make-up, be in an air-con room whole day & not sweat. i love teaching, but i do not enjoy shouting at kids everyday to get my job done. so....i've decided, aft 2 yrs (hopefully), to transfer to HQ, so tat i don hv to shout anymore, and i can work in the aircon! in the long-term, if i still wanna teach, i will definitely choose to teach somewhere where i don have to shout, and where i can teach comfortably in the aircon.

more complaints to come...something i find ridiculous! ystd was my sch's official opening, & the day b4, dat was fri, the school only had single session, and some of us had to do relief for three and a half hrs, in a combined class. yes, abt 60 pupils, face them for more than 3 hrs. then in the aftnoon we had to set up the respective rooms. and guess wat the ridiculous thing was? NO LUNCH WAS PROVIDED FOR STAFF! we were not informed b4hand tat lunch was not provided, neither were we informed tat the canteen was closed early. and we were all required to stay back to work for the school. students who stayed back to help had free macdonalds lunch. staff did not get a shit!

isn't it ridiculous?! dis is wat i call BASIC WELFARE. we r not staying back to enjoy ourselves, but to HELP with the school official opening. and we don get lunch, and we were not even told b4hand tat there is no food. wat is dis? u do dis, & expect us to be committed to the school? wait long long ba!! r we slaves? r we robots?  at the end of the day, we only get a word of thanks fr ur mouth. students get free lunch bcos, if they dey don, then parents r bound to complain mah. but staff is different, no matter how u torture them, the staff oso LL have to work for the school, esp BTs like us, who'll b stuck here for at least 2 yrs.

hey, i don mind wrking, BUT provided i feel my work is appreciated! and of coz i expect BASIC WELFARE.

wat i learn from coming to dis school is: u nvr know a plc is good, until u go to somewhere worse.

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tues is investiture, and i'm SSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY tat i get a day off from school! 不需要看到那些坏学生，更不需要看到剥削员工的老板。 so glad tat i can get to see my NIE-mates again, there's bound to be nvr-ending talks, or complaints, haha..

for those blur kings & blur queens: we gotta collect our degree cert & convocation invitation cards from NTU Office of Academic Svcs b4 11am hor. aft dat then go NIE admin office collect our transcript, cos tat one is opened until 4.30pm, then i'm heading to NIE canteen to have my beef hor fun, yum yum!! 1.30pm gotta report for investiture at NTU auditorium. the NTU office of academic svcs is on level 1, student svcs centre. i dunno where it is lah, but have got the phone no., just call & ask them for directions lor, in case any of u want to do the same as me, the no. is 65148399.

MY COMP IS DEAD...!!!!

i am typing on bro's laptop...and i feel so not used to it...

YES, my computer is DEAD! i dunno hw i'm gg to do my wrk...had planned to complete alot of stuffs dis long wkend, lots of deadlines to meet. then now, my 5-yr old computer played me out! it just went dead suddenly, cannot switch on at all! i'm praying hard itz NOT the hard disk problem, but the video card or sth else instead. lots of stuffs in my hard disk!

to make things worse, i'm all alone at hme. bro is at chalet. damn! no one to help me...can't even know if there's anything to b done to save my comp. i know nuts about the inside of a computer, and all i can do is use bro's laptop for the time being until he's back...maybe tmr aftnoon...=( FEEL TERRIBLE without my comp!

luckily enuf, i've saved most of the things for work in my thumb drive, can work abit using dis laptop. but my pictures resources r all in my hard disk...haiz...how...i wanna cry liao!!!

STRESSED....!!!!

woke up wif a sore neck & sore shoulders...tink i'm feeling stressed...everytime i'm stressed, my neck muscles will start to ache...my teaching frens out there, r u as stressed as a am?

just gotten my timetable on thur & was informed of some workload on fri... dis is it:

- teaching P1, P2, P5, CL+CME;
- 40 periods of teaching;
- 1.5hrs of P5 remedial every tues;
- 1hr of contact time every wed;
- 2hrs of CCA every thur morning.

yes, and apart fr the above, i'm level rep for P1, still 8 sets of P1 worksheets waiting for me to set. scheme of work still not yet completed, and also:

1) do my EPMS & hand in to my RO for vetting in afew wks' time (i dunno wat the hell dis is & dunno hw to go abt doing it eh..hw...)
2) set P5 CA2 paper & hand in for vetting by 9th july
3) set P1 SA2 full paper by sept

haiz..dis is a govt school, everything no budget. and bcos itz such a small school, teachers, especially beginning teachers, have to do everything & alot of things. like, each teacher has to set so many papers each yr, and itz full papers, including oral paper & listening compre. and dis school is so inefficient in disseminating information to teachers, but expects teachers to hand in work on time, giving us such a short time frame..=( fear & stressed...^ ^|||

yes i'm floating, but still have CCA & contact time. my school is small, so kena everything1... on most days, my teaching will start at 10.30am, and the earliest days end at 5pm, some at 5.30pm & the longest day (tues) end at 6pm. haiz, floating is boh hua lah! cos longer hrs than those teachers who teach only 1 single session. the only plus point is, no need to wake up so early, means can sleep abit late at nite. it is reli good for me dis nite cat!

i'm reli worried about my P2, tho there's only 12 pupils in the class, itz the bridging class (导入班), super low ability students. i've nvr had dis kinda students b4, 1st time... they r very visual learners, which means i can't escape from doing powerpoints for every single lesson..sianz... and itz dis class tatz gonna determine my appraisal (lesson observation)!

BUT, i'm gonna b POSITIVE! cos i'm gonna b stuck here for at least 2-3yrs. so no point grumbling & grumbling. must try to find joy in my work! tink of it, dis school is good for beginning teachers, cos there'll b lots of chances to learn. itz a small school, so every teacher gets to do alot of things & EVERYTHING, it'll b a learning experience. i'm teaching P1 & P2, which have the most number of CL periods, which means i end up having a very packed time-table (40 periods leh). but, think about it, P1 & P2 work is comparatively easier to mark, and there r no compositions, heh heh.. and my P2 bridging class, have to do powerpoints for every lesson, but hey, only 12 pupils, so i can finish my marking very quickly rite? so not bad lah, got plus points oso de.

think itz the same everywhere, every school in s'pore...every school has its own unique culture. just gotta learn to adapt. just learn! learn to adapt & do well dis 2-3 yrs, and move on in my career, my dream! ok, more than half the day gone, i gotta start doing my weekly lesson plan, then complete the powerpoint i did for my class rules, and then hopefully still have time to do up the P2 powerpoint.

looking fwd to 12july to get bonus! then shop like crazy to de-stress...!

WAT THE HELL??!!! dis is RIDICULOUS!!

i'm feeling very shitty now!!! very angry, very bad mood... and i wanna scold all kind of words... i need to vent my anger & frustration here...

i tink my school is mad!! i hate my school!!! just recived an email to say there'll be lesson observation on 30th july. WAT THE FUCK??!! we new teachers have just been posted there, we noe nuts about the school, nuts about the pupils. i don't even know wat levels, wat classes i'll b teaching.

they r giving me (as well as the other new teachers) only 1mth's time & wanna observe my lesson, and let tat b part of my annual appraisal, isn't it unfair???

hello, we r taking ovr the classes fr other teachers, and u pple know, handing ovr stuffs is SHITTY!!! every teacher's style of teaching, style of managing the class, managing pupils' bks & work is different, and it could reli take weeks & mths to re-vamp the whole shitty class into ur own style. i wonder if the school considered these factors. i am reli PISSED OFF!!!!

wanna check bks some more, check compo & sentence-making. wat can i do in 1mth's time??? they r looking at my primary 2 class (ok, so finally thru dis email, i noe i am teaching P2), and P2 no compo, only sentence-making, i dunno wat else they wanna check.

i noe there's lesson observation dis yr, but i just din expect itz so soon. at least give us until term 4 rite? or end of term 3. ohya, then the school will tell u, term 4 is very tight, there's PSLE, there's SA2, there's all the blah blah blah... SO??? tatz ur problem rite? not mine! itz U who has no time to observe me. so u wanna sacrifice me, or other new teachers, made us being observed so early, when we r not prepared at all!

i just find it totally ridiculous! i dunno about other frens in other schools, are ur schools tat ridiculous as well?

wat i'm reli pissed off is: the school is very inefficient in letting us (new teachers, or maybe all teachers, i dunno) know about things, but expect us to be efficient about giving the school things. it is reli unfair dis way! i gotta start teaching on monday, gotta hand in my weekly lesson plan, and until now, i dunno wat classes i'm teaching. so i've only dis wkend left to plan my weekly lesson plan, so tat i can PUNCTUALLY hand in on monday morning. come on, if u expect me to be efficient, u gotta be efficient on ur part as well rite? datz only fair enuf.

ok...i feel abit beta aft complaining on my blog...but stil pissed off, find the lesson observation thing so ridiculous! ok, my blog readers, just b prepared, come school start, u can expect to c more & more complaints on my blog. i feel beta aft complaining, so just let me do it ok? if u don like to read complaints, then DON READ my blog.

i am broke again...

yes, i'm broke again!!! ARGHHHH!!!! i can't stand myself...

i reli enjoyed shopping wif ah sze ystd, and i reli enjoy trying on clothes & buying all the stuffs i like! and i reli dunno y i'm so easily attracted by everything i c...the bags, the shoes, the clothes, the accessories... and...i end up "pok gai" again! why can't i just control myself??!!!! why do i owiz have to end up regretting spending too much at shopping??!!!!

seems like the only way is to bar myself from gg out... everytime b4 i go out, i tell myself "ok, i shall not buy anything today, or at most buy 1piece of stuff", but at the end of the day, i owiz go home wif bagfuls of stuffs. arghhh,真想撞头!!! i hate myself!!!!

i must control, i must control, i must control...maybe bcos past 2 yrs on no-pay leave, so i'm deprived of shopping??? datz y now resume pay, i gotta satisfy my "hunger"?? wateva.. stop finding excuses for myself! i must control!!!

desperately waiting for the GST package coming on 1st july...

2007年6月17日阴天随笔

这两天的天气真好！最适合赖在家里、赖在床上。我这只小猪猪（哈...很奇怪吗？竟然有人称自己"小猪猪"，这是某人对我的昵称啦）两天睡了22小时，超爽！

以上纯属废话！

海蝶的中级歌唱班考试终于结束了，为自己的成绩感到开心！其实能够考到这样的成绩，最应该感谢的是妈妈，感谢她让我从小学音乐，因为这次考试能够得到这样的佳绩，全是音乐感的部分帮了我！我了解自己的歌唱定位，所以有这样的成绩，i have nothing more to ask for, or rather, i'm more than contented.

还在考虑是否要继续上高级歌唱班。非常矛盾！害怕开始教书以后会没有时间，更害怕教书以后会没有“声音”。可是上了初级和中级，不继续上高级，似乎又好像不完整，也想知道自己的歌唱水平还有没有进步的空间。更期待的是高级歌唱班能够进一次录音室，把自己的歌声录成CD。

广告时间：
最近电视广告常打一部港剧，叫《争分夺秒》。在此，想向各位极力推荐这部港剧。它真的超棒！如果你喜欢现在U频道晚上10点的《隔世追凶》，你一定会喜欢《争分夺秒》。eh，不过，也不一定。《争分夺秒》有黑社会元素，是我超喜欢的类型。当时这两部剧（《隔世追凶》 & 《争分夺秒》），我都是狂追的，两、三天就把30集看完。过程超赞，十分紧凑，很多条伏线，很有真实感，很能带动观众的情绪，可惜啊，tvb剧多数的结局都是不好的。这两部也不例外。

为什么新传媒总是把那么好看的港剧放在晚上10点呢？结果傍晚吃饭的时候，总要无奈地看那些无聊、超不好看、超没有感染力的本地剧集，真讨厌！新传媒剧集就是烂到连戏里的人物要说什么话，观众都能够预测到。演员演戏超不自然，剧情超不真实！一个字 -- 烂！
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假期还剩最后的一个星期...=（ 真的要开工了，stressed！dunno watz to come... 这所学校超级 inefficient！i don like the feeling of not knowing watz to be expected of my job, my wrking environment. and yes, i'm experiencing tat kind of feeling now, and i RELI DON'T LIKE ＩＴ.

这次假期很短，薪水又来得迟，只来得及mit up wif ah sze & QM。希望年底假期有机会catch up wif more of them. LZ，你好吗？你是不是“失踪”了？还在为女佣的事忙吗？快点回应回应，不然我要报警说你失踪啦！

还没开工，就已经在期待年底的假期。该到哪里度假呢？20weeks of teaching life，应该一眨眼就过去了吧。

steph 的近况